The Wicked Queen famously said the words “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all”? Now I don’t intend to do that and I’m so incredibly happy that I don’t have a talking mirror. I’m sure its answer to that question would be “It ain’t you sweetheart”. Although, thinking it about it, wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a mirror that could truthfully (and tactfully) answer the questions we ask ? Of course it would hurt, but hurting helps us grow stronger doesn’t it? Many of us, when we examine ourselves are either far too critical or far too lenient. We need that middle ground. The voice of reason. Maybe there is some use for a talking mirror after all.
So what do I see when I look in the mirror each day? I see a woman who is aging. I see lines and wrinkles forming. I don’t mind them though. Lines around my eyes mean that I like to laugh. (I’m working hard to stay away from lines on my forehead from frowning too much). I look at my hair and see the bits that won’t lay flat because I slept on them last night. I see the white patch of hair falling on the left side. I see my eyes. Sometimes very green and sometimes grey/blue. My mother tells me that my eyes used to change with what I was wearing or how I was feeling. They generally stay green these days. I see the darker areas of pigmentation. A legacy from my pregnancies. They don’t bother me either. (I have to admit that in this photo above I’m a little thinner than I am now). However, I’m not a person that is overly concerned with her outward appearance. As long as I look neat and presentable, then I am happy. No, I am more concerned with what the mirror doesn’t reflect back at me. What am I like on the inside?
Self reflection is an important tool. It enables us to analyse our strengths and weaknesses and make the changes that we need to make in order to become better people. I am aiming to continue evolving and making genuine changes in order to become the person I want to be. I want to be the change I want to see in the world. Baby steps are required though because I can’t change the world without changing myself.
Last year, I had an ‘incident’ in my life that made me sit back and look at myself. It involved being shown how other people see me. I was devastated because I knew that deep down that wasn’t the ‘real’ me. Part of me was angry with others. How dare they criticise me? I accept others for who they are. Why can’t I be shown the same courtesy? A lot of self reflection and hard work later, I feel the benefits. I am still largely tolerant of the shortcomings of others but I have worked on improving the shortcomings in my own life. This experience taught me that how the world views you is also important. It also taught me to tread lightly with others to spare them the hurt that I experienced.
I would hope that if I had an inner mirror, it would show me a person that has a large and loving heart. A person who wants others to be the best that they can be. A person who wants to help and heal those who are suffering. A person with dreams – some of them big. A person who looks for the beauty in life. A person that enjoys the simple things in life and adores her family. A person who speaks words of encouragement. A person, that I would be happy to call my friend. 🙂
Louise Hay recommends waking each morning, facing the mirror and saying “Good morning. I love you.” It doesn’t matter if you laugh whilst you do it. I used to all the time. Then I started replying “I love your smile”. Smiles are the outward sign of a happy heart. So what do you see when you look in the mirror? Is it someone that you are happy to be with and spend the rest of your days with? Or is it someone that needs some love and attention? Try it. You just might find a new way of loving yourself today.