Why don’t we talk about it?

In this current age of enlightenment, instant gratification and social media, it appears that nothing is a taboo subject. It used to be that you never discussed religion or politics however if we wish to rant about politicians, political footballs or the private lives of world leaders nothing stands in our way today. Religion is preached not only in churches or other holy halls, but from many other media platforms as well.

So if we are so open about previously taboo subjects, why are there still elephants in the room?

What elephants? I hear you say…

Let’s see, this elephant over here goes by the name of ‘mental illness’ and that one over there by the potted palm is called ‘miscarriage and still-birth’.

What do you mean we can’t talk about them? We’ve talked about everything else (including some private things that are better left off social media) so why not these subjects?

What’s that? It makes you uncomfortable?

Why?

Aren’t these elephants a part of life? If not yours, then someone you may know, or even love? Don’t you think that those who are suffering need acceptance rather than avoidance?

What’s that? You don’t know what to say?

Who said you had to say anything? Can you listen? Are you able to offer a hug or hold a hand? Can you just be there?

Why not be honest and tell the suffering person that you don’t have the words to say? Or know the answer to the question ‘why’? Let them know that you are willing to be there in any way they may require.

Please don’t sweep the subjects of mental illness or miscarriage under the edge of your living room rug. These things are real. They affect real people and happen more often than you may wish to contemplate. These people need time to grieve. They need to grieve for dreams and hopes that may never be realised, for a life that is irrevocably changed or for a future filled with uncertainty.

People who are suffering need others to care. They don’t need glib responses or oft trotted out phrases such as ‘it will be alright’. they don’t need to be told that it’s all in their head and to ‘snap out of it’.

People who are suffering need to know that they can rely on those around them to be there to pick them up when they stumble and fall. They need to know someone loves them enough to brush them off and set them back on the right track. They need to be loved.

They need hope.

They need acceptance.

Above all, they need to talk about it.

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22 thoughts on “Why don’t we talk about it?

    1. Yes it is. I don’t think people understand many things and don’t want to talk about them including miscarriage, still birth, mental illness and disabilities. I think in this age of enlightenment, people need to come out of the dark.

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  1. Well said.
    I have talked about my children’s illnesses a lot on my blog, mainly about how people react when we’re out in public, and I’ve had quite a few very interesting responses in my comments. Awareness on these subjects certainly isn’t easy to come by.
    It makes me want to write. Which is good, because I’m a writer. 😛
    Very nice post, Suz. 🙂

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  2. I think people tend to not talk about things they don’t understand or subjects that make them uncomfortable. These are important subjects that should be discussed with respect and not taken lightly. Great post!

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  3. I’m wondering in the case of mental health illness people don’t want to talk because of the stigma of old , that crazy s dangerous and ‘not normal’ . I must admit normal is a questionable term to me as is ‘skin tone’ in stockings. For things like miscarriages maybe it rocks their boat when people realise these are things we can’t fix and it could happen to them? Being an anxiety sufferer I know I don’t want people telling me it will be ok I prefer when I’m stressed , but rather for people to say lets focus on accepting I’m stressed and helping me to work through it

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    1. Okay, I nearly spat my tea at your ‘skin tone’ comment. lol
      I think part of the trouble with miscarriages is that comments are made by women who have never had one and consider it ‘normal’. Whilst I agree that miscarriage is quite common, it is certainly not normal.
      I’m sorry that you suffer anxiety. My Garden Gnome is a huge anxiety sufferer. At these times I have learned to just be there when he wishes to talk and hold his hand. Telling him not to worry about something that hasn’t occurred is more than likely the worst thing I could do (learned that the hard way) lol.

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  4. well said and as you know i am no believer in keeping quiet.
    it seems to me that all the things we keep quiet about are actually the things we should be talking about.

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