Joining me tonight is Colin. I met Colin through the Sharing your WordPress Blogs on Facebook when he expressed interest in my Fellow Blogger series. Colin writes as The Catholic Husband. He has been married for over 21 years and has raised 4 children with his wife and began his blog to reach out to others. He explains this so eloquently in his Background and Purpose page. Colin’s love for his wife shines through in his post For My Beloved Wife and he also regularly blogs about a young lady he knows and prays for who is very ill Kathryn Gets a Horrific Diagnosis. Colin shares his faith unashamedly through his writings and reaches out to those in need.
Hi Colin. Thanks for joining me on the couch to talk blogging. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Please tell me what drew you to begin blogging?
I started blogging because I found myself all too often being asked for advice by others on how to improve or repair marital relationships, this seemed a more expedient delivery system that would fill a need to have some support for men who often feel alienated and alone when they try to discuss such things with others in or society – they have nowhere to turn. Rarely do other men offer truly helpful advice, and the potential for ridicule and derision just for asking. If I make a positive change in one just one mind or marriage then any amount of effort put into this blog is justified. if I’m really lucky they will continue to pay it forward and it might snowball into a wave of change for the better, for ourselves and for our children. I have 3 daughters and I fear for each of them in finding a faithful and loving husband who will cherish and revere them as I do their mother. They have been raised in a household with 2 parents very much in love and devoted to each other and I fear their expectations of a husband far exceed society’s guidelines. They have seen us weather storms by clinging more fiercely rather than pushing each other away and witnessed a symbiosis and a bond that they will seek for themselves and accept nothing less. Happiness is not like any other resource in that by propagating and sharing it, you own is only increased not decreased – how wondrous is the Natural Law that this should be true.
It sounds as if your daughters are developing into beautiful, well-rounded individuals with excellent role models as parents.
I tend to agree that many people reach out to others through blogging as it is easier to share through a keyboard than face to face. People are less guarded and worried about what others think when they are in the safety of their own home. I sincerely hope you are successful in your aims.
Can you tell me how long you have been blogging?
About 14 months? On Catholic Husband.
And does your blog have a particular theme that you write about?
It’s an unusual blog in that it is highly focused on sacramental marriage. Most every post references Catholic teachings on the issue in question. That does not mean that one must be Catholic to use those teachings in their own relationships to dramatically improve them. If anything, I find many non Catholics and even non-traditional couples finding the benefits of implementing the principles sacramental marriage is based on in their own lives. All too often these are poorly explained or poorly understood to completely misunderstood. By clarifying them I can help Catholics avoid pitfalls and ensure that non-Catholics understand the real basis and meanings.
That is wonderful that what you are writing is helping those who may not be of your faith. Building strong relationships is something that should transcend any faith or belief system.
As you have said, you’ve been blogging for about 14 months now. Do you feel that you have gained anything from your blogging experience?
I’ve met and even befriended people from all over the world, all religions, and all walks of life. You’d be amazed how universal the basics of human relationships are. I grew up all over the world and have been directly exposed to many faiths. I don’t think Catholicism is the only way to Heaven (As the pope has pointed out himself), but I know it teaches fundamental truths that when applied can drastically improve our lives and relationships. I really makes me feel good for people to write me and tell me that something I wrote has made a difference in their lives or marriage.
I can imagine the buzz it gives you when you receive positive feedback because of your words. I understand that the purpose of your blog is to help others overcome challenges in their lives, however are there any challenges in your life that blogging has assisted you in dealing with?
Plagued by health problems related to brain tumours, and the aftereffects of prolonged coma, hypoxia, and neurosurgery, Blogging has given me an outlet, even when I am too weak to walk I can write 🙂
.I have long been frustrated by the way I see women treated and the high divorce rate in the US. I have blogged about feeling like women have slipped from a position of wisdom and reverence as wives and mother in our lives to a position of receptacle for men’s sexual angst that is disposable – a pack horse to be used to supplement our income and then be ridden again in the bedroom until she drops in exhaustion or disgust instead of a human being and a helpmate – part of you as much as your arm is and to be treated accordingly. I have 3 daughters – Blogging and reaching such a large audience gives me hope for them finding the type of husband and marriage they are expecting to find, instead of what our society considers normal now.
Your daughters are lucky that you are looking out for them and revere them in their roles as women in today’s society.
Do you find that you get the time to blog often? How often would that be?
That depends on several factors – one is reader input and questions, one is current events, and the last one is at the compulsion of the holy spirit. If you’re not religious you might say massive inspiration in place of the last one. It’s just a matter of perspective. I try to make sure a get at least one thing published once a week. I re-blog occasionally – when it’s relevant or the inspiration to do so is there.
It sounds as if you have worked out what works best for you in relation to your posting. Where do you find the inspiration for your posts?
#1 My own marriage, I made so many mistakes along the way and learned some very painful lessons. I see no reason that everyone should learn those lessons the hard way, and if they choose that path I like to have a walkthrough for them to get out of the hole they dug themselves doing so.
#2 Misunderstood Catholic Teachings – when I hear people make obtuse and incorrect statements about sex in marriage for instance, especially when their understanding is one that I know will damage a marriage I take time to correct it. (e.g. http://catholichusband.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/catholic-sexuality-and-the-marital-embrace/)
#3 Reader questions – I get some really great questions via email. While most people are looking for a confidential answer and the catechetical references to back it up – when I get a flood of such questions I know that there is a subject I need to cover.
#4 Prayerful Meditation in the Adoration Chapel, This has brought forth some of my most personal and heartfelt work (Like http://catholichusband.wordpress.com/2013/12/30/anniversaries-and-what-they-mean/ and http://catholichusband.wordpress.com/2013/01/16/sex-intimacy-and-nfp/ ) Both of which cover subjects nobody wants to talk about but everyone needs to hear.
It sounds as if you tackle some difficult discussions in your blog post. Kudos to you for doing so. Many of my fellow bloggers have quotes or mantras that are relevant to them and their lives. Do you have one?
“Do little things, with great love” – St. Therese
That actually fits beautifully in with something I have been saying to myself quite a bit and that is “How can I serve”? I like your quote very much.
When you are browsing through blogs in your reader or searching for other blogs, what do you find draws you to particular blogs?
I like stories and parables. I am always looking for Fables what make a moral point whether true or not in blogs. I like to have my beliefs challenged because that is how you know you are still on path. If everything you believe can be torn down by a single argument then you have work to do. I don’t like blogs that tear others down but don’t offer solutions. A good man will point out that something is wrong, a Great man points out it is wrong and then explains how to fix it. I like blogs written by great people using that definition of greatness.
Whilst there are some blogs out there that are not uplifting, I find the majority of bloggers are either upbeat and positive or looking for answers in a troubled world. I’d like to thank you for being so open and honest with me this evening. Before we end this interview, is there anything else that you would like to share?
I’d like to let you know most everything you want to know about me is in my blog. I would hope that people take a moment to read through some of the historical posts and learn something that makes their marriage or relationship better. Men should especially read this one http://catholichusband.wordpress.com/2013/08/04/expectations-of-a-catholic-husband/
Thank you Colin. And bless you. 🙂