This morning, I awoke with the lyrics of a song from far in my past playing in my head. I’ve mentioned before that I am a collector of quotes and poetry. I have a beautiful cloth bound book that I began when I was a teenager, filling its pages with things that meant something to me at the time. The lyrics of this song are included in this book. When I was a teen, I was a member of a church that many consider a cult. I am not here to debate that as it is in my past. I learned a lot during my time with them and it was one of many, many churches that I attended over the years of my life. Each of these churches offered something to me that I have taken with me on this journey called life.
But I digress, the song that was playing in my mind this morning is one called “Paper Dream”. It was a song in a musical that was produced by the church I was speaking about before. The song’s lyrics talk of a boy who has some paper in his hand and he begins sketching the person he wants to be – a warrior of great nobility. The song builds up and then ends with the words “but chances are I’d probably strike out”. So why did this song come to me this morning after almost 30 years?
Over the past week, I have spent a lot of time thinking of where I want my future to go and the steps I will need to take to achieve it. I have explored my goals and dreams but there is that persistent voice at the back of my head that keeps telling me that it will never happen. That I am an everyday wife and mother and that these things don’t happen to middle aged women.
I can fill my life with positive quotes such as the one on my wall at the end of the hall “Believe yourself and all things are possible” or the one above my desk “You can’t make a positive life with a negative mind” or even the one just above eye level here at my computer “What you do today can improve all of your tomorrows”. I can read these and speak affirmations to myself but if I continue to undermine my dreams and plans with little negative thoughts then I may as well not have dreams at all.
In keeping with the lyrics of the song, “I take some paper in my hand and with my pencil draw the man (woman) and dream of what I’d really, really like to be”. I outline my goals (did you know that if you write a goal down then you are more likely to fulfill it?) and the steps that I need to take to get there. I remember that baby steps are what is required because if I try to do everything at full throttle, I’ll crash and burn. I will begin each day with a positive thought and end each day with a positive thought as well. I will remember that a bad day does not make a bad life. And I will dream.
I will not strike out!