Please excuse my language but I’m only repeating what has been said to me many times over the past few weeks.
Once word had spread at work that I was leaving, the most oft asked question was “Where will you go?” To which I replied “Home”.
I went on to explain that when it is time to move on, it is time. Some understood. Many didn’t.
Some replied, “You must be so lucky to be able to afford to live a life of leisure”. Nope. Not even close on that one.
However the line I heard the most was “You’re brave. I’ll grant you that.” or “I wish I had the balls to just resign and not know where my future lies”.
Last time I looked I was a female so I can’t claim ownership of those. And anyway, why do people think that only the male of the species can make tough decisions?
Just yesterday, during a lovely lunch I heard the words once more “I wish I could be as brave as you but each time I think that I should follow what I really want to do, my common sense takes over”.
I replied, “Do you think that my inner-critic is being quiet? My heart is telling me that I have made the right decision. My head is telling me that I am a bl**dy idiot”.
It’s not easy to step out in faith but I’m doing that right now. I certainly didn’t think to myself “I am going to be brave and quit work”. Actually, I was thinking that if I continued at work I would be in a straight jacket before the end of the year so I guess common sense prevailed in that respect.
I didn’t make my decision lightly. I didn’t suddenly think that I was going to begin following the Yellow Brick Road to Oz.
I just knew that I needed to do something to get my life (and the life of my family) back where it should be.
And so I am here right now. Looking toward a future that is uncertain. Living with the hope that all will work out in the way that it should.
I am very lucky that I know that if I need to I can return to work. It might not be an admin position but I have been assured that I am always welcome back as a support worker. That’s a nice safety net to have. A blessing really. Not many people are lucky enough to have that.
It’s a shame though that people listen to their inner-critic at the expense of following their dreams or what they love.
I don’t believe that in my act of self-preservation I exhibited any signs of bravery however it is perceived by those on the outside.
I don’t believe that I acted like a man in any way.
I do believe that when you listen to your heart, everything will come together.
I choose to believe that the decision I made is for the greater good of not just myself, but those I love also.
So many people would not have progressed had they listened to their inner-critic. I’m certainly not saying that having false hope and belief in oneself is the answer either. No matter how much I positively affirm that I am able to grow wings and fly to the moon, I know that it won’t happen.
However, I can choose to believe in myself and trust that all will be well in my world.
I guess it’s just a matter of choosing which perspective to frame the situation with really.
Have a beautiful day.