The other day I had to go into my old workplace to pick up a parcel that had been dropped there for me. Whilst it was wonderful to see fellow workmates and some of the clients once again, it was a bittersweet experience.
I have invested a lot of myself into that place. It has become a part of me and it is a part that I cherish.
One part of me was happy that I was no longer having to come in to work each day and the other part was sad that I am missing spending time with the wonderful clients (and staff) that are the backbone of the organisation.
However, it was also difficult because of the questions asked of me.
“How is your book going”? (I haven’t even looked at it or written anything toward it).
“How’s your study”? (Still sitting on the table waiting for me to pick it up again).
“I bet you’re loving not having to get up and go to work each day”. (Sort of. But part of me feels really guilty for not supporting our family and I’m struggling to deal with that guilt).
“Have you achieved everything you wanted to do once you gave up work”? (Well there is still a layer of dust on things but I am slowly getting things sorted out and I’m finally baking for my family once more).
And then the sense of dissatisfaction with myself began to creep in. So I said my goodbyes and drove home all whilst questioning what I am doing with my life and just what I am contributing to my family and the world at large at this point in time.
I know in my heart that I made the right decision to leave my job and return home full-time. The signs were all around me and the peace of mind was instantaneous once the decision had been made. But this whole stepping out and trusting is doing my head in right now. lol It is especially hard when the financial letters begin arriving.
Therefore I have decided that I am going to do a post each week with my achievements for that week and my gratitude list. And all those who want to join me in celebrating their achievements and sharing their gratitude for the things in their life that are wonderful, can do so right along with me.
I have realised that sometimes when we think we aren’t achieving much and then take the time to stop to think about it, we find that we have achieved more than we thought we had.
So here is my “Achievement List” for the week:
- Sewed four skirts for my granddaughters (now I just have to sew matching tops)
- Mended a jacket that had been sitting in the mending pile for far too long
- Mended holes in the feather down quilt from our bed
- Located a sibling of my mother-in-law that died before her birth
- Emptied my ironing box (and I didn’t just tip it out all over the floor either. I actually ironed everything in that huge ass box)
- Sorted the filing cabinet and encouraged the Garden Gnome to sort his paperwork out as well
- Shredded three garbage bags full of old paperwork
- Cooked dinner every night (except the one night I had a bad headache and went to bed instead)
- Visited the accountant to take care of two year’s worth of tax
- Began scanning old family photos
Every little achievement counts right?
And now here is my “Gratitude List” for the week – I am grateful for:
- The opportunity to record some wonderful family anecdotes shared by my father-in-law
- Hot water (we had to replace our hot water system yesterday and had no hot water last night)
- A wonderful man who will go to the store to buy elastic so that I can finish sewing skirts
- A ‘fish man’ who comes to my house so I can purchase fish straight from the trawler (or so he tells me)
- The three rainbows I have seen this week
- A fantastic report from all of the Tween’s teachers during parent-teacher interviews
- The crows that amuse me when they fly in about 2pm every day to drink in the bird bath in the front garden (they’re definitely punctual that’s for sure)
- The fact that I am at home and don’t have to take time off work to look after the Tween whilst she is sick
- Electricity to power my computer, printer, kettle, stove and sewing machine
- A helpful woman at the bank who understood what I was trying to say through my tears and fixed the issue with our mortgage payment in a few minutes and the provided encouragement and emotional support
- Expected tax refunds for the past two years
- Time spent laughing with the Tween whilst watching the Diva try to get the bandage off her leg that I had put on her (she was favouring her sore leg so I thought bandaging it might help).
There is probably more but the Tween wants to use the computer and it is time to go and watch our old western on Fox Classics.
That’s another thing I am grateful for – Shared time with the GG – even if it is just watching tv.