I was challenged yesterday by my morning meditation to consciously let go of judgement throughout the day.
Every time that I felt myself beginning to judge a person or a situation, I was to stop myself, let go of those feelings and replace them with acceptance and love.
I figured that this would be pretty easy task for me as I believed that I’m not really a judgemental type of a person.
Oh how wrong I was.
I had things to do down town yesterday.
First stop was the optometrist to have my eyes re-assessed. I had decided that I would park at the back of the medical centre because I am not that great at reverse parking and I felt it would be a lot easier to reverse park on the back street rather than the main road out front.
My first judgement call came when a car decided to ride my bumper the whole way up the street causing me anxiety when it came time to stop and begin my reverse park.
“How could someone be so inconsiderate? Don’t they realise that it is dangerous to tail-gate another car? Idiot!”
Oops. Judgement call #1.
I stopped. I breathed. I sent love after the receding tail gate of the offending driver.
I finally parked (badly) and walked around to the front of the building.
My normal optometrist was not available and I was seeing someone else today. Met by a smiling young man at the reception desk who was obviously expecting me, I felt a little better about myself. He informed me he was running a little behind and asked if I minded waiting for ten minutes or so. I replied that I was in no hurry and that was fine.
Ten minutes stretched into 15 minutes and then a lady came through the door. The staff appeared to be expecting her and asked her to take a seat. The optometrist finished with the previous patient, and then went straight to the elderly lady who had taken a seat beside me. I was then asked if I minded waiting a further 10 minutes or so whilst he saw to this lady?
“Of course not” I replied whilst inside I was like “Really? What is this lady’s problem that she had to jump the queue?”
Judgement call #2
I immediately recognised what I was doing and breathed out the judgement and resentment I was feeling. My calm returned and I felt well within myself.
After leaving the optometrist I had to visit Centrelink. Those in Australia who have had dealings with this agency will no doubt sigh and feel my pain.
After booking in at reception, I took my seat in a room full of others waiting patiently to be seen.
Being a people watcher, I scanned the faces and immediately made assumptions about every single person there. She was obviously a single mother. He looked like a bit of a rat bag. And on it went.
Judgement call #3Oh dear. I’m not doing very well am I?
A young lady was called. As she walked toward the desk, I noticed she was carrying a little extra weight around her middle and was wearing a form fitting t-shirt top that was slightly see-through. The t-shirt hugged all of her extra curves (and not in a flattering way).
My mind immediately thought “Oh honey. Do you not own a mirror at home”?
Judgement call #4
My strike rate was rising. I immediately let go of these thoughts and replaced them with loving ones.
Eventually my name was called and it was my turn to see someone. Not everything went as I would hope and I left the building inwardly seething a little.
Coming home to the GG, I launched into a tirade about the ills of this government department.
Judgement call #5
I needed to let these generalisations and judgements go. I recognised this and allowed love to take its place.
And so the pattern continued for the day.
If you Google “What makes people so judgemental”? a myriad of pages will come up filled with discussions started by people wondering the same thing.
So why do we do this?
My belief is that we go through life and develop ideas and opinions based upon our life experiences. We then transfer what we believe is the ‘right’ way to do things onto others. When we do this, we aren’t taking into consideration that no two people are travelling the same path at any one time. Therefore each person’s experiences and observations about life are completely different.
What one may consider ‘normal’ or ‘right’ may be the polar opposite to the person sitting across from them in a crowded room. In actual fact, in that room you may find one or two who may agree with you on certain things but you will always find differing opinions on others. No two people are 100% alike.
When we allow ourselves to see things in a particular way, we are not understanding the whole picture.
It’s like looking through a window and seeing only a small part of a big world. If we allow what we see from that window to influence our view of what the world should look like then many of us are going to miss so much.
If the view from the window contains only brick walls and the windows of the building next to you, then you may perceive that the world should hold nothing more than this. The thought of a garden may be foreign to you. Conversely, if you live your life gazing through a window at wide open spaces filled with trees and fields, then city living may be judged harshly by you.
Many would say that when you judge someone else, you are acting superior. But then there is the other side of the coin where you judge others as being superior to you.
However what it all boils down to, is judging someone else doesn’t make anyone happy. Certainly not the judge that’s for sure.
It was an interesting exercise for me yesterday. I learned much about myself.
I also learned that I judge myself quite harshly and need to practice loving myself a whole lot more.
After all when you judge someone, it says more about you than it does about the other person.
Today, I challenge you all to be aware of your judgements of yourself and others. Stop when you find yourself passing judgement upon another person (or government department 😉 ) and replace those judgemental thoughts with loving ones.
I saw what a difference it made to my day.
I hope it may make a difference to yours.