The correlation between giving and forgiveness

Over the past week, I have been bombarded with messages about receiving blessings through giving.
It’s hit me in so many ways.
In my meditations and readings. Even in emails that I have received.
Interspersed between the ‘aha’ moments about giving and receiving, there have also been ‘aha’ moments about forgiveness.
Both of these topics are ones I have individually blogged about before however it has taken me until this week to realise the correlation between the two.
I could trawl the internet and find a million quotes about the blessings of giving. I could find a million more about receiving, or forgiveness,Β  but it is rare to find them mentioned in the same quote and I would have to wonder why?

Let’s break it down.
The Law of Attraction states that in order to receive whatever it is that you want, you need to not only put it out to the universe you have to live like your desires have been fulfilled.
Therefore, if I want a million dollars (which I don’t. Just enough to pay the mortgage off is okay with me πŸ˜‰ ) then I need to live as if I am already affluent.
I should be free with my monetary gifts to others by giving to charity, or as author of E Squared, Pam Grout did, leave bills around with a note stating that this money is a blessing for another person.
According to this principle, I should then receive whatever it is that I desire (which is money in the case of this example).
Let’s apply this line of thinking to other areas.
Say I desire to be loved.
So in keeping with the law of attraction I should then become more loving toward others and show compassion. Loving unconditionally is hard but it is not without rewards.
If you don’t want to be lonely, then befriend those who are. And so on and so forth.
It’s a win-win situation really. Because as you are giving to others, you are receiving blessings in return.
It’s the whole “what you sow, you shall also reap” teaching from countless spiritual texts.
There are many that call this karma.
You can choose whether the karma you wish to receive is good or bad by the actions you take in the here and now. Sometimes karma is instant. Sometimes it takes a long time but karma will come. You will reap what you sow.

So how does this tie into forgiveness? I am getting to that I promise.
I have been hurt and treated badly by people in my past. It is what it is. I’ve blogged before about how we deal with adversity in life affecting how our life looks now. Overcoming adversity was the easy part. Forgiving was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
I was slow to forgive. I mean like…. really…. slow. It took a long, long time.
I felt that if I forgave the person who had trespassed against me (thanks Laurie for that analogy) as the Lord’s Prayer tells us then I was condoning what had been done to me.
Until the day that a light bulb clicked on somewhere in my brain and I realised that by hanging on to my refusal to forgive, I was still allowing that person a measure of control over my life. Control that I wanted back.
So I made the conscious effort to forgive and examine the reasons why this may have occurred. I didn’t like everything I found but I accepted it and moved on from it. Once I relinquished the control that this other person had over my life by giving forgiveness, I had received so much more.

I felt free and light. The burden had really been lifted.
In giving forgiveness, I had received freedom to heal and move on from those things in my past that were holding me back from receiving the full blessings of the present.
Forgiveness really is a gift that you give to yourself. When you learn to forgive, it also makes it that much easier for someone to learn to forgive you.

Isn’t life funny?
If we wish to receive the blessings that life has to offer us, then we need to give those same blessings to others. For it is in giving that we receive.

Have a blessed day.

I had just finished writing and scheduling this post when an email with a post by fellow blogger Jill, hit my inbox. Guess what the topic is? Yep. Forgiveness.
Jill says in her post:

What does forgiveness mean? It means letting go of and accepting what has occurred, because no matter what I did, the position wasn’t likely to change. Forgiveness meant dismissing blame.


To me, forgiveness meant looking at my pain and learning lessons from it. To me, forgiveness meant starting over with the knowledge that I might have gained something after all.

I urge you to read Jill’s post on her blog.


28 thoughts on “The correlation between giving and forgiveness

  1. Great post! I was bound by the inability to forgive. I’d read many times, been told many times that it only hurt me, that forgiveness was necessary for my own wellbeing, but I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. When I finally did forgive, I couldn’t explain the utter joy of releasing the burden. Since then, I forgive easily. I still struggle with fear and trust, but forgiveness lifted such a weight.


  2. I have found with age ( hmm does this mean wisdom?? Ha ha) I have become more forgiving. I realise now I can’t change the actions of others only my reaction. In doing this I feel I have become a happier person with a much greater love of life and empathy of others. I could say if only the lesson haven’t taken so long but maybe it’s time that holds all the answers. πŸ™‚ hope all is good in your day and world Suz.


  3. You are blessed with the gift of common sense and a huge heart Sue. “Until the day that a light bulb clicked on somewhere in my brain and I realised that by hanging on to my refusal to forgive, I was still allowing that person a measure of control over my life.” This is SOOO true! It clicked in my mind as well. I will add that I can forgive but still maintain healthy boundaries if I need to. Also, when I forgave, in some instances I felt so sad for the other person. That they are so clueless to have done the things they have and continue to do. It helps the forgiveness sometimes.


    1. Most definitely Laura. I found that once I forgave, I did feel sad for this other person because they just don’t realise what they are doing and how their actions are impacting upon so many lives. In the long run, they will be the one to lose out.


  4. Forgiveness is freeing, isn’t it? It lifts a huge weight – of anger, resentment, and control. It also opens the door of a cage that we keep ourselves in. It allows us to see with new eyes and a healthy, new heart. It’s wonderful that you were open to this new way of thinking and being, Suz. As a result, you are able to create an opening for others. Bravo.


  5. When you mention law of attraction, is that from the man and woman Hicks who wrote a number of books on this principle?
    Until now, I had never thought that I need to forgive to be forgiven. Very interesting post


    1. I haven’t read anything from the Hicks couple but there are many other books out there by other authors espousing the same principle. Basically, it is what you give out that you receive. If you give love, you receive love etc.
      I think the point I was trying to make is that when we give, we receive much more than we expect. So when we forgive a person, we receive the blessing of being free and it enables us to move on.
      I guess that I do believe that when we are more forgiving, others find it easy to forgive us also.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. love this post. I find I can still be slow to forgive. I know it is freeing, to let it go. I can move on, but still deep inside whatever the hurt or pain still resides there, not allowing me to forgive totally.


    1. You know, I haven’t forgotten the pain because the pain was real but I’ve let go of my feelings of resentment toward the person who caused the pain. Does that make sense?


  7. This was just what I needed to hear today. The struggle with forgiveness is surely universal, but it plays out differently in each of our lives. For me it’s an ongoing process. Just when I think I’ve forgiven someone, something happens to irritate the old wound and I have to learn to forgive again. Your post has some nice reflections on a difficult topic. Thanks!


    1. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment Susan. Forgiveness is so difficult and like you there are times that I can forgive a person and then they go and do something else that irritates me. I find if I replace the anger with sympathy for them, it helps a lot. Although every one of us is different and react in different ways, this works for me.
      Have a blessed day. πŸ™‚


  8. Having read this I believed it was extremely informative.

    I appreciate you spending some time and effort to put this short article together.
    I once again find myself personally spending a loot of time both reading and posting comments.
    But so what, it was still worth it!


  9. Interesting post Sue, agree with all your sentiments.
    Finding the courage to face up to, and give forgiveness can be a bit daunting.
    I suppose it means we must have faith in our intentions.


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