Many years ago I said to the Garden Gnome “Please don’t ever let me become like xxx”.
It is not that I don’t love this person. In actual fact I adore them but as I interact with this person I see the pain and suffering caused by their choices. Choices that I know that I make as well from time to time.
I don’t want to experience the pain and difficulties that I see my loved one endure on a daily basis. Perhaps that is selfish but it is also a self-preservation instinct I guess.
The Garden Gnome promised me that he would do this for me and I was pleased.
As the years have gone on, he has at times reminded me of this request and his subsequent promise. My reaction has not always been pleasant.
You see, the problem is that I can see in myself that the choices I am making are not the best for me and I know that they need to be changed. I know what I should be doing but I keep letting myself down.
When I realise this, I berate myself and encourage myself to change. However when I am actually reminded by someone else about my choices, then my defenses rise.
Which leads me to the title of my blog post.
Basically, if you want someone to help you with something then there are going to be times that they will tell you things that you don’t want to hear.
It can be tough to hear someone you love and care about telling you that you are not doing (or behaving) in a way that you believe you are.
Basically, the truth can hurt.
So what do we do about it?
Do we tell the other person to back off and forget that we ever asked for their assistance? Or do we decide to actually listen to their words? After all, they are only trying to help.
It’s a hard question to answer isn’t it?
Do we want to be left to our own devices and hope that we don’t become what we fear? Or do we accept the words of those we entrusted to help us and do something about the state of things as they are right now? After all, it was as a result of our desire for self improvement that we requested assistance in the first place.
What to do?