This afternoon I have been going through my photo archives and remembering. I have held back tears upon finding photos and realising that I am the only person still living in some of them. I have laughed with joy at the expressions on the faces of those captured by the moment in others.
I have gazed at photos of the Garden Gnome and myself taken oh-so-long-ago and marvelled at how much 20 years can change a person. I have grimaced at the fashions of the 80’s and marvelled that in one photo I modelled a plastic bag and managed to make it look good! lol
But every photo tells a story. Each photo is a part of me and who I am.
As I have been studying, I have been learning more about myself. I have spent a lot of time in introspection and this allows growth. For if we do not grow, how can we assist others in growing? In a webinar I undertook the other day, the tutor said “You cannot take a person where you have not been yourself”. These words really jumped out at me.
Whilst I was wandering through my pictorial archives, I found this old digital scrapbook layout that I created about myself in 2006 and marvelled that I haven’t really changed all that much in the past 9 years.
I’d like to think that I’ve changed and I guess I have in many ways but underneath it all my core values have stayed the same.
I still struggle with self-criticism (I’m my own harshest critic), I aim high and then when I land amongst the stars, I pine for the moon. Those aren’t really great attributes to have and changing them is a long and arduous process. However it can be done. I have no doubt in myself that I can change my mindset around acceptance and happiness with where I am at.
As to the other things?
I’m still loyal.
I still love nature.
I still love too much.
I still want to help and heal the hurts of the world and those I love.
They are values I’m quite happy to keep.
If there is one thing that I have learned it is that life is an evolution of self. We can change much about ourselves but our values are shaped and defined by our experiences from the moment we leave the womb.
Values can be changed with hard work but I’m not sure I want to change some of mine.
I am beginning to learn that it is quite beautiful amongst the stars! 🙂