Don’t you just love how words come from somewhere and they are exactly what you need at the time?
I know that I’ve blogged about this phenomenon before but it’s happened again! How cool is that?
So here I was last Friday, feeling blah but not really being able to pinpoint exactly why. I was certainly a little perplexed by it all.
Things hadn’t exactly been all ‘peachy-keen’ and ‘hunky-dory’ over the preceding days but certainly not enough to drag me down that’s for sure.
I wasn’t entirely certain whether I was going into battle with those wonderful female things called ‘hormones’ or whether my little black dog was nipping my heels.
I wrote in my journal:
I am feeling restless this morning and there is a slight feeling of anxiety. I am not sure why. It could be that it is the end of the week. It could be not sleeping well since waking in the early hours to the sound of thunder and then sleeping fitfully after that. I had a strange dream that was slightly unsettling……. I must check our account and pay some bills. The thought of doing that fills me with dread. (The Garden Gnome) has heard nothing about working anywhere…….
And the words tumbled forth. None are uplifting. All are negative and fearful. I wrote about my fears for the future and my fear of failure and finished by saying:
I have to prove to my own doubts that I am more than capable. What I should do is move – be more active. Active in studying. Active in promoting myself…..
I walked out of the room after I had finished my journal and was met by the Garden Gnome. He looked at me and said “What’s wrong”? My eyes filled with tears as I replied “I wish I knew”.
It was then that I went to turn on my computer to download the emails (I’m now up to the 18th of February with my blog reading). I tore the page from my desk calendar to the quote for today and found this quote.
It screamed at me “Get active girl”.
And so I wrote a Facebook post about my study, reaching out to friends for some assistance. I sent an email to someone that I had spoken with last year about a business opportunity and I began to shake off the mantle that was hanging over me.
I realised that waiting for things to get better wasn’t going to work. I had to go out and start making things work.
I’m still scared of things but there is no point in waiting for some future point when the future grows shorter by the day.
So tell me, have you had a defining moment in your day at any point in your life?