Last night my mother asked me whether I intended to continue with my blog? My one word answer was “Yes”.
I confess, I have left you all sadly neglected of late whilst I have allowed myself to wallow in self pity and other other such feelings that we as human beings tend to indulge in from time to time.
This year however, is a time of change, learning and growth for me and I confess to missing the interaction that I have with you all as I go through these changes. So here’s to a new change on that front.
I’m sure that to many of you it seems as if my life is always about learning and growth. You only have to read back through many of my past blog posts to see that.
I liken myself to a pot plant. I grow and thrive when the conditions are perfect (good food, great atmosphere etc) but die back when neglected or something becomes lacking in my daily care. Only to come back better and stronger when looked after once again. And since it is me that looks after myself, then I get what I put out ha ha.
A better comparison may have been a phoenix rising from the ashes but I think that a pot plant suits me better. 😀 Continue reading
Earlier this week I picked up my books again and began my studies once again. Due to the many happenings in my life this year, I am so far behind in my studies it is bordering on the ridiculous. However I am hoping to chip away steadily and get back on track as soon as possible.
As part of this decision, I began a goal setting exercise that is ongoing.
I outlined goals both short, mid and long term and I am now in the process of working out the steps to achieve those goals. It’s an ongoing process because I keep thinking of new things to add or to tweak.
However goals should be fluid and subject to change so I am not concerned about making these changes. The important thing is the setting of the initial goal. Continue reading
As of today, I have only one week left of full time work.
Am I scared? Hell yeh.
Surviving on no income at all is going to be difficult. We are lucky that we have some reserves to keep us going for a short time.
Am I excited? Hell yeh.
Not having to worry each day how much stress or anxiety will impact my day is going to be wonderful.
But I face the future with some trepidation.
Last night I was flicking through a book by Wayne Dyer called “Your Erroneous Zones”. It is the first book he ever wrote and I have had it sitting in my book pile for some time now. However the other night, I read an email from Hay House in which Wayne talks about a quote in one chapter of this book. It interested me so I thought I would pull the book out and read this chapter.
Yesterday, I received some bad news. I had been hoping, longing and building myself up for the delivery of good news. News that would fulfill my dreams and show me that I was on the right path. News that would change my life as I know it. I waited by the phone and checked my email constantly. The Tween (my biggest cheerleader) was messaging me and asking if I had heard anything yet. I ate lunch with my phone beside me, willing it to ring. As the hours moved on I figured that the phone call wasn’t going to come so I kept checking my email. Then the email arrived that sent my dreams into a tailspin. I did not win. I wasn’t even a runner up. My heart and mind began their bickering with my mind acting superior by hurling taunts of “I told you so”. My heart closed itself off to hide the fact that it was breaking. My mind began telling my heart to face reality and stop dreaming. I continued the rest of my afternoon at work on autopilot before walking in the door that afternoon and going straight to my bedroom to lay down. If I napped, my heart and mind would quieten and silence might ensue. It did for a short while and then I emerged from my bedroom and into the arms of my Tween who was waiting for me. She just held me. And I was blessed.
With a full night’s sleep under my belt I can now analyse objectively. I can develop my gratitude. Although it is difficult to find reasons for gratitude amongst the pain of broken dreams right now, I know they are there. I still hold fast to my dreams, (take that mind!) I just need to find a different path in order to achieve them. The path may need to be broken down into stepping stones but I will persevere. So what can I find to be grateful about? Through the processes of this competition I have learned valuable skills. Skills that can be expanded upon and honed. I am grateful for learning new things. I am grateful for the support team I have in my home – the Garden Gnome and the Tween. I am grateful that each day is a new opportunity for trying new things.
I write often about gratitude and its importance in healing. Although I have learned this through the process of applying it in my life previously, every so often a speed bump comes along that tests my theories. Physician heal thyself. I am and it is working.
I am grateful for speed bumps. Without speed bumps plain sailing would become so boring!
Have a blessed day. 🙂
Something incredible is waiting to be known”
Think about this. Think of every discovery ever known to man – the country you live in, antibiotics, flying to the moon, a rover on Mars, chocolate and shopping malls…. all of these were unknown at some point in time. Someone had to discover them. Someone had to brave the criticism, self doubts and their own insecurities to bring these things to the light of the world. Someone had to discover that if you take two bits of material and use something sharp to make holes in it and then thread animal sinew then you could clothe your body. Someone had to discover a use for animal sinew. Really, when you think about it, our whole world is shaped by the discoveries of others.
So what is stopping you from discovering something new?
Have a blessed day 🙂