Who I am

I’ve had a rough past week that involved a lot of soul searching and thought. I won’t go into the reasons this was all bought on however my reaction to it was definitely exacerbated by the cicadas in my head and the headspins that strike without warning. I have spent a lot of time in tears that are too close to the surface of late. I’ve written some introspective blog posts for OM at Harsh Reality and I’ve enjoyed my time there. Every opportunity to share my ramblings is gratefully accepted.
Yesterday as I sat at my sewing machine finishing off the lap quilt I have been working on (photos to come in another post) and listening to music, I was alone with the thoughts in my head. The Tween and the Garden Gnome had gone out to exchange the school shoes we had purchased the day before, the cat had taken herself off somewhere (possibly behind the curtain), the bird was happy trilling to itself in the mirror so I was on my own. It’s nice sometimes to just be. I began to think about who I am and decided I would post it.

I am Sue. This year I will be 49 years of age. Getting close to 50 but I’m not worried about this at all. Of course my body isn’t holding up terribly well and I know that part of that is my fault. I should be doing more exercise but I don’t. There is always some excuse to get me out of it. I make every attempt at eating well but sometimes need sugar. I am overweight and whilst I am not happy looking at photos of myself, it is what it is right now.
I like to laugh. I don’t laugh quietly. When I laugh, everyone knows that I am laughing. I laugh at things others don’t find funny. I can laugh at the same television commercial every time I see it. I see humour in places that are not obvious to any but the hamsters in my brain.
I cry. I can cry on command these days. I am not ashamed to have tears running down my cheeks watching a movie or even at television shows. Although my family laughed at me for crying in an episode of Home and Away one time. Apparently the only thing that should make you cry in that show is the bad acting. 😛 (apologies to all who have left that show and gone on to Hollywood – particularly you Chris Hemsworth 😉 ). Watching the news can be heartbreaking for me. Human suffering affects me in no small way.
I want to help others. I will help others in any way that they wish. I can (and have) be/been taken advantage of. I have adopted the mantra of “How can I serve”?
I love my family. I will do almost anything for my family (except break the law). My family is more important than my work. I have never stopped being a mother – even now that my oldest two are married adults and we have grandchildren. I worry about each one of them and the problems they are having.I take too much upon myself instead of letting things go. I want to fix everything. I am fully aware that I need to step back at times but it’s a learning process. I worry about others in my family (including my in-laws) and wish there was more I could do to help.
I am creative. My craft room is full of my creative endeavours. I go through phases with these and will work on something for some time and then put it aside and start something else. I have UFOs (unfinished objects for those of you who had visions of ET) hiding in my cupboard. I sew, paint, cross stitch, crochet, scrapbook, make cards, stamp and collage. I enjoy digital art and manipulation and have some of my art hanging on our walls here at home.
I write. I have spent most of my life writing. I have half finished notebooks all over the house. The GG just rolls his eyes when he sees me heading toward a stationery store such as Typo. Writing is an outlet for me. Just writing this is setting the tone for the coming day. I have a goal to publish my books and to tour the world speaking to others about becoming a better them.
I love to travel. I want to travel Europe.
I can be messy and cluttered but function well when I am organised a little better. I like routine and structure. I don’t cope well with change. I need time to process change to see whether the change is a good thing or a bad thing. Then I will make the changes necessary.
I often don’t think before the words tumble forth from my mouth. I would never knowingly hurt anyone. I would never, ever try to ‘rub someone’s nose’ in anything. I am not like that.
I have hoarding tendencies but work hard to overcome them. I love buying new clothes and will wear them until they don’t sit right or I see photos of me wearing something and don’t like the way it looks then I will put it in the charity bag.
I give to charity. I have a sponsor child in Zambia called Lucy and I love getting photos of her continued growth. We also give regularly to many other charities close to our heart. If I can help, I will help. I donate clothing and items no longer needed to wherever I think they can be used.
I love nature. I enjoy watching and listening to birds. I love waterfalls and the sound of running water. My favourite places to visit are sanctuaries and zoos.
I admire beautiful architecture. I look for the beauty that is all around us each day.
I enjoy photography. It is creative and I find great joy in capturing the beauty that is all around. I’m not very good at it and struggle with understanding aperture and shutter speeds however I get by.
I don’t cope well with people who do stupid things that lack common sense. I often talk to the television during Home and Away and berate the stupidity of the characters. I have no time for selfishness and open cattiness. (Anyone watching the current episodes of My Kitchen Rules in Australia will know which couples are rubbing me up the wrong way right now).
I can’t sit idly by and watch a train wreck situation. I need to walk away.
I get embarrassed when others engage in embarrassing situations or conversations.
I believe in the power of being positive and self encouragement. I believe all people are worthy. They are beautiful creations. I believe that somewhere inside everyone there is good.
I accept everyone at face value. That is not always a good thing.
I believe I am intelligent. I will think things through and like to look at issues objectively. I am able to see both sides of the fence in any argument. I have strong beliefs in some areas and whilst I can see your point of view, it doesn’t mean that I agree with it.
I expect the same respect from others that I show to them.
I try not to take things out on others. It’s not their fault I’m having a bad day and I don’t disguise my emotions well. I don’t play poker – for obvious reasons. 🙂

I am a myriad of other things that I’ve probably forgotten but in the end I am me!!