A Time of Change and Learning

Last night my mother asked me whether I intended to continue with my blog? My one word answer was “Yes”.
I confess, I have left you all sadly neglected of late whilst I have allowed myself to wallow in self pity and other other such feelings that we as human beings tend to indulge in from time to time.
This year however, is a time of change, learning and growth for me and I confess to missing the interaction that I have with you all as I go through these changes. So here’s to a new change on that front.

I’m sure that to many of you it seems as if my life is always about learning and growth. You only have to read back through many of my past blog posts to see that.
I liken myself to a pot plant. I grow and thrive when the conditions are perfect (good food, great atmosphere etc) but die back when neglected or something becomes lacking in my daily care. Only to come back better and stronger when looked after once again. And since it is me that looks after myself, then I get what I put out ha ha.
A better comparison may have been a phoenix rising from the ashes but I think that a pot plant suits me better. 😀 Continue reading

Let’s try again…..

My oldest daughter (who reads this blog but only comments on it when she calls or texts me) tells me that I should begin again with “F is for Failure”.
In my defense, I have an excuse. It’s called ‘life’ and sometimes it is rougher than at other times.
I apologise. Every time I think I am getting somewhere, something happens. Continue reading

And she’s back….. kinda… sorta (and really random)

One of my newest followers is a lovely lady called Deborah Weber who has recently been completing an A-Z daily post that has inspired me to once again do one of these.
It’s been a while since I have blogged every day but I’m going to give it a go. Of course it will entail pre-writing and scheduling on my part in order to have a daily post because due to my head (maybe more on that later) and coming home from work tired, I don’t get to my computer every day. Continue reading

I have ten minutes……

before I have to get up from my computer and get dressed to go to work.
So, what will I say to you all today?
I have no idea to be honest.
Lately, the wellspring of ideas appears to be drying up.
I have noticed that my most popular posts are the ones where I bare my soul to the world but my everyday life isn’t all about despair and doom and gloom.
Believe it or not, even depressives have happy days!
So, what do I write about today?”
I don’t know at all.
It is Friday.
After today, I have two more weeks left at work.
Two weeks of mixed emotions because even though I am leaving, I do spend my days with a lot of people I like.
I also love the clients and will miss them so very much.
Part of me is dreading my last day at work almost as much as I am looking forward to beginning a new chapter.
Continue reading

Fellow Blogger – Nav from The Mirror


Many of us have seen Nav or Navigator1965 around the blogosphere commenting here and there in his wicked way. He seems intent on world domination but I believe that is just a cover up. Underneath it all, he is a perfect gentleman with an acerbic wit. As an Aussie, I find his Canadian culinary tastes quite different (Head to Trader Joes)  and have discovered he has questionable gift wrapping talents but I’ll cut him some slack since he’s the same age as me 😉 You can find Nav at his blog The Mirror. He kindly agreed to answer my probing questions:

So Nav, thanks for taking some time out from taking over the world to answer my questions. I’d like to ask what drew you to blogging?

I needed to learn about marketing for my self-published book, which should be out in February 2014. I really knew nothing about blogging, other than reading suggestions that an author should have a blog. Like a lamb to the slaughter, in I went!

I like your analogy. So how long have you been blogging?

I’ve been blogging since around August 2013. I started shortly before Opinionated Man’s “Project O” initiative at his HarsH ReaLiTy blog. It was during “Project O” where I really broke into blogging in a significant way.

So, does your blog have a particular theme or something in particular that you write about?

The blog mirrors—pun intended—my forthcoming book The Mirror, Book One—Welcome to the Evil Sisterhood. It deals with narcissism, feminism, the ideologically corrupt family “justice” system, and parental alienation. However, these aren’t particularly pleasant topics, so there is humour and writing/self-publishing aspects to The Mirror (the blog) as well as in the book. Sometimes laughter is the best medicine.
I’m currently working on a series of posts regarding how to write a book proposal, as an example of happier posts.

And have you gained anything from blogging?

Absolutely. First and foremost are the many wonderful wordpress bloggers that I have met. I cannot put a value on these blogging relationships. Some have read my manuscript and made trenchant suggestions on areas to tweak for improvement, or they have found some of those niggly little typos and errors that always seem to elude my detection. Their support has been a significant boost to my confidence in terms of being able to pass muster as a book author.
Others challenge me in my thinking and expression, either directly or through their own insightful posts.

It sounds as if you have gained a whole lot there. Are there any challenges in your life that blogging has helped you deal with?

Yes. A big yes, in fact. Starting in 2008, I underwent a prolonged divorce from hell. It seemed like every feminist within a 100 miles lined up to put the boots to me. I had to deal with government-approved, child protection-sponsored, court-ordered, and expert-confirmed serious child abuse. I ended up not seeing my kids for 15 months due to this, and haven’t seen my 23 year old daughter in over five years as a result. When I assessed that there had been serious criminal malfeasance in my case, the system went into cover up mode.
Writing a book about this, which includes blogging about the book, has proven to be therapeutic to the point of being cathartic. Blogging also keeps the writing skills sharp, even if blogging is a somewhat shorter form of written expression. It will also help me in spreading the word about my book, as I hope to effect positive social change through it.

That’s a lot to deal with. I’m glad blogging has helped you. So how often do you blog?

I am religious about purging my 300+ blogging email alerts every day, to keep from getting inundated. I do make an effort to comment on friends’ posts as much as I am able to. In terms of posting, I have tried to get a post a week in, on average. The effort it takes to keep up with all the comments and emails does impinge upon the posting, but it’s worth it IMO. I can’t expect people to support my blogging efforts if I don’t reciprocate. WordPress is a community.

I’ll second your sentiments about the community. It is why I started this series. So where do you find inspiration for your posts?

A number of places, but primarily either newspaper articles or with topics related to my book, including publishing and marketing. I find many bloggers are aspiring writers, and so we share similar interests in figuring out how to be successful in the brave new self-publishing/self-marketing world. I also find other blogs can have inspirational posts.

Speaking of inspiration, do you have a particular quote or mantra that you believe fits your life?

Why, from Edward Gibbon, of course!: The winds and the waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators. I’m surprised you even had to ask. };-)>

Of course I knew that 😉 I asked purely for those who are reading this that have no idea. Onto my next question… What draws you to other blogs?

I think it’s the person’s character, which I find tends to be reflected in their posts and comments. It can be a sense of humour, being fun loving, writing thought provoking posts, lovely poetry, super photographs, eloquence, position on certain topics, having had problems dealing with narcissists, especially the female ones, or other things.

I know time is precious for those of you out to take over the world so is there anything else you would like to share before we close?

I’ve gotten highly encouraging feedback from my test readers regarding my book, which has strong elements of human interest, interesting concepts, insight into difficult people, scandal galore, and a little humour thrown in. Seems to be a gripping read for many readers. Anyone interested in a free pre-release read is welcome to contact me at themirrorbooks@gmail.com, with the simple caveat of not forwarding the .pdf on the honour system. No strings attached, although future book reviews are always appreciated.
I am also starting to write the sequel starting in January. Since I have taken it upon myself to destroy the Matriarchy, I’m afraid that it’s no “rest for the wicked” for this humble navigator.
And, lastly, I’ve learned that the best way to market a book via blogging is to not market a book via blogging, paradoxically. Sometimes less is more, so build the relationships.

Thanks Nav, for taking the time to answer my questions.

My pleasure, and thank you for having me here. }:-)>

I am really enjoying doing these posts. If anyone else would like me to take part in this, you can email me on smudgetheattackcat@icloud.com

Write it Out – Part III


I’ve previously blogged about journalling as a form of therapy. I’ve also pointed you toward Mr Google (don’t trust Dr Google) to help you with finding some prompts for your writing. I’ve explained that writing your feelings out is cathartic. It truly is. Once you begin putting pen to paper, the thoughts start flowing. Go with the flow. Write it all out. Don’t worry about grammar, syntax or spelling. This is your writing and your notebook. Getting those feelings out goes a long way toward healing your hurts. Writing in a journal also gives you an insight into yourself and who you are.

As far as journal prompts go, they can be deep and meaningful or something that is fun and enjoyable (like my journal prompt post on garbage). The important thing is to go with the flow.

Now, I want to talk with you about Gratitude journalling. I have a little book that lives in my handbag. I confess, I don’t pull it out as often as I should – ideally every night before I lay my head on the pillow – but I do pull it out on occasion and fill it’s pages. In my defense, I use my blog in its place quite regularly. The little book I am talking about is my Gratitude Journal.

This little book is my reminder book. It is my go-to pick me up book when I am feeling down. It keeps me sane. (Although there are some in this world who might debate that point). 😉

The concept of a Gratitude Journal is simple. You open the book to a page and write the words “Today I am grateful for…..” and then list your blessings down the page. There is no particular way that you need to set this book out. You just make a list. Heck, you don’t even need to use dot points. (Although I do but then I’m a little funny like that). 😉

The great thing about this book is that you can repeat yourself over and over. Or you can write crazy things in it. Whatever you write, make sure it is something that has blessed your life. It doesn’t matter if you can come up with only one thing for the day or flow over onto the following pages, the important thing is that you acknowledge your blessings with gratitude.

Have a blessed day 🙂

It’s Awards Time Once More – Part 1

ImageIt’s been a big week and one of the highlights was the Tween’s Primary School graduation. After their big dinner and dance, all of their families were invited to join them in the school hall for a final dance, presentation of certificates and a song. We were beyond thrilled when the Tween won an award (the very first ever) for Excellence in Japanese. My MIL was there and she began crying and we just cheered. It was so unexpected even she asked her friends if it was her name that had been called out. We are so very, very proud of her.

Not to be outdone, her mother has been receiving awards also. This time in the blogosphere. I have received so many that I am going to have to break them up over different posts. For this post, I wish to thank greengrowsdark an Glynis Jolly of Speculations Impressed for nominating me for the “Versatile Blogger” Award.

ImageRules for the award are:

“Thank the person/s who gave you this award. That’s common courtesy. Include a link to their blog/s. That’s also common courtesy. Next select 15 blogs/bloggers that you have recently discovered or have followed for some time. Pick blogs or bloggers that are excellent and nominate those 15 blogs/bloggers for the award. Finally tell the person who nominated you, 7 things about yourself”

Okay, I know I’m cheating by doing two together but I reckon you’re going to be sick of seeing awards posts from me after I am done, so combining them together is best for both of us.

I just want to add that I am incredibly honoured and touched at these blog awards. It means so much to me that the meanderings of my mind are touching something within you all.

So here are my 15

Cindy Knoke

Chris Martin Writes

Dance Like a Robot

Englishman in Italy

GiSt Creative

Greet Grief

Hope* the happy hugger

Just An Average South African

Maxim Sense



The Beauty Along the Road

The War in My Brain


vic briggs

Each of these blogs has something different to offer and all offer their own unique perspective on life. I hope you check them out. You might another blog that you like in there.

Now 7 things about me:

1. I kick my shoes off as soon as I walk in the door each afternoon

2. I am generally in bed by 9.30pm each night (I’m up by 5am the next morning though)

3. I once tried to bring on labour by jumping on a trampoline and taking castor oil (didn’t work)

4. I love ribbons and buttons

5. I never finished high school

6. I still have my childhood security blanket

7. I once trimmed the fringe (bangs) of my favourite doll (Lisa) and was devastated that her hair never grew back

And so ends part one of my Awards acceptances and passing on. Thankyou one and all for thinking of me.